Roll For Initiative: From the (Character) Sheets to the Streets
I have been an activist out in the streets ever since I was a small child, wearing a “Take Back the Night” tank top as a dress and marching alongside my parents. I have acted as a street medic, I have taught people about disaster preparedness, I have contributed to queer defense projects, and I have created mutual aid networks for various needs. When our government began to be more actively chipped away by our Christofascist-meets-technofascist regime, I was more resigned than terrified; I mostly just heaved a big sigh and said, “Here we go again”.
But while the media has painted me and those like me as black-clad, chaos-seeking, violent terrorists… at heart, I am a dice-rolling, stats-crunching, dungeon-delving dragon-seducing nerd. And so I wanted to offer up some activist advice through the lens of tabletop roleplaying games because I’m hopeful it may help folks as they navigate direct action, mutual aid, and protest for perhaps the first time. This might seem a little goofy, but I have found that some of the best players I’ve been at a table with have been people who understand and enjoy collaboration, both when it comes to “the work” and when it comes to goofing off. While this is a perhaps playful way to discuss this topic, believe that I am deadly serious about how important these things are.
So, let’s get into what we can learn from collaborative storytelling games, and how to apply that to activism in the real world.
Know Your Character Stats
Knowing who you are and what you care about is a really useful place to start when trying to figure out where to plug in as an activist. It can be easy to look at others and weigh yourself by what they’re good at, but that way is not only counterproductive but denies your own character sheet its skills and strengths! Consider if you can reframe the traits you have and the actions you want to take into proficiencies instead of bemoaning stats you rolled low on. By tailoring your role to what you are innately good at, and leveling up skills that bolster your talents, you can be even more effective.
One way I’ve seen people get turned off by direct action is by thinking it needs to look a specific way (often the way depicted, overly simplistically, by the mainstream media). It takes all different kinds of adventurers to form a party and vanquish the Big Bad! If you know that you’re a magic user, but you’ve only ever seen sorcerers, and magical ability just doesn’t come naturally to you, it requires a lot of study and thought — you might think that you’re a shit sorcerer when in fact, you’re a brilliant wizard. Or maybe you are a better sneaky rogue than a righteous paladin — that’s not only ok but awesome! Play to your strengths!
And, keep in mind that these things can change as you grow, learn, and evolve — I used to have a much higher constitution, but I was very bad at being sneaky or running away, so I often put myself on the front lines of protests to protect others. Now, I have found that my constitution has gone down, but my charisma modifiers have gone up, so disseminating information is a better fit for who I am right now. Rather than be down on myself for losing some points in constitution, I have invested more time and energy into being the best face and diplomat I can be and serving that way.
Choose The Right Table For You
I’ve heard a lot that no D&D is better than bad D&D, and while it’s not a one-for-one comparison, I do think it’s worth stating that not every action is right for you and your party, and that is absolutely fine. A well-balanced party for a serious, historically based fantasy setting probably won’t click in a satirical cyberpunk game, and that’s ok! Not everyone enjoys Dungeons and Dragons, and not everyone enjoys occupying a city hall meeting as their particular form of protest action. Rather than try to force yourself to do something that doesn’t utilize your skills or fan the flames of what you care about, find other ways to plug in to direct action in your area — even (and perhaps especially!) if it means working alongside people in unexpected coalitions. You’re more likely to check out if you aren’t invested, so doing things that you feel invested in is not only about keeping you interested but keeping you focused.
Additionally, not every table is going to have a vibe that fits with yours! I am not a person who resonates with today’s Pride parades for a myriad of reasons, but supporting Trans March has always been close to my heart, even as a cis person myself. I can see some value in a mass-produced Pride parade as a form of visibility and normalization, even while acknowledging that it isn’t for me. Rather than checking out of LGBTQ activism entirely, I can focus my energy on the more localized, grassroots, punk rock mutual aid, and awareness-raising efforts. “Choosing the right table” makes me more inclined to show up.
Be Intentional With Your Party
I talk a lot about how we tend to call groups of people with whom we share an identity or a common interest “communities”, when there isn’t any shared investment. I think this is a good time to start thinking about your “adventuring party” on a smaller basis, both for security reasons and for maneuverability reasons — it’s just simpler to get a group of ten together and ready an action than it is to wrangle a group of a hundred!
When I am planning on participating in an action, I think about what I want my role to be, what the constraints I have on my participation are, what roles would be complementary to my role, and what my goal for the action ultimately is. I may think about what would cause me to disengage versus what would cause me to stand my ground. I might ensure that my bag of holding has the right supplies for the task at hand, and also, not bring valuables with me that could be at risk.
Then, I reach out to potential party members to see if they want to join me, if they have skills and goals that are compatible with mine if we have similar risk assessments and lines we won’t cross. We might adjust strategy to put our best feet forward in terms of what we have experience with and are good at, and of course, anything negotiated stays as a living document that can be mindfully and consensually tweaked, as needed, at the moment. We figure out when we will press forward, and when we’ll retreat, so that the party works as a (mostly) united front.
Don’t Be A Murder Hobo
I am speaking in metaphor here, but I think there is a core truth also. While taking wild swings can be fun at the table, reckless individualism can be devastating in activism. Know that your actions have consequences, consequences that ripple beyond just you to your whole party, and sometimes, the whole community. Act accordingly, act consciously, and act strategically. Chaos simply for the sake of chaos is a short-lived pleasure in the real world and often harms people in unexpected ways. Don’t be that guy.
This is also true regarding horizontal lashing out. I’ve been in so many leftist activist spaces that have been destabilized by members, feeling unmoored and powerless, who chose to try and grasp some feeling of control by punching out at their fellow activists. I don’t mean genuine attempts at accountability and restitution, where healing and mutual investment is part of the dynamic; instead, I am speaking of bad-faith accusations, backstabbing, and undermining. In an adventuring party and in life, it is so important to have people around you that you trust to have your back, even when you aren’t getting along. This is even more true when you are in hostile territory. Avoid player-versus-player.
Also, don’t talk to the guards.
Communication is Key
Protests and adventures both are collaborative things, and collaboration benefits from an open line of communication within the party. Ask questions when something is unclear, and answer questions in good faith until proven otherwise. No one is born knowing all of the ins and outs of effective direct action, leftist history, or political zeitgeist! Make it safe and encouraged to ask questions about strategy proposals, risk assessments, preparation, and decompression plans, and you will have more people keeping an eye on what’s going on, which will make you collectively more adaptable and more likely to catch gaps in your approach.
Also, advocate for yourself if you have needs that aren’t being met — for example, when I was a street medic I often didn’t have the run speed of the rest of my party, so we made sure that one person would stay with me if we needed to separate. This meant I didn’t feel pressured to run suddenly and end up hurting myself in the process. I knew I could trust that someone had my back! If a member of your party says they need a short rest, you want them to let you know before they’re making saving throws at disadvantage.
Finally, in regard to communication, it’s helpful to keep in mind the idea of “speak up/step back”. If you’re a person in a group dynamic who tends to speak up a lot, maybe try offering the spotlight to someone who is a little quieter, giving them some space to contribute. If you tend to find yourself not saying anything for a while, consider letting your voice be heard more often — the party will benefit from everyone working together and weighing in!
Roll With The Dice
I know trying and “failing” can be scary. Falling hurts, even when it doesn’t permanently injure you. It can be tempting not to act until you are absolutely positive that doing so is the right thing to do, and the way you’re doing it as a minimal amount of risk. Unfortunately, that kind of assurance rarely comes. Inaction is also an action, and the Big Bad is going to keep going with their machinations even if you stay in the tavern til they’re at the door. Avoidance and procrastination can feel sensible when faced with violent rhetoric and authoritarian opposition, but you don’t get experience points without experiencing things!
Here’s the thing I’ve really held close to my heart after years of playing TTRPGs. Even critical fails can offer opportunities to learn and adapt. They can suck really badly, for sure, but they can also give you information about what you’re up against so you can regroup and try again later with more preparation and more effective tools. The more adaptable your party is, the more spread out and complementary the skillsets represented, and the softer the landing when your rolls are absolute shit. Rather than letting a fear of failure freeze you in place, allow your party to band together to throw you that health potion so you can keep fighting.
Sharing is Caring
Speaking of health potions — don’t hoard the loot, whether that loot be money, practical resources, or skills! I know we live in a culture that encourages us to grasp and cling to stuff as a way of helping us feel more secure, but I am reminded repeatedly that the more I give away, the more I have. I share home-baked cookies with one neighbor, who brings me a half loaf of bread he’s not going to use — I borrow tools from another neighbor, and then I help him figure out the best ways to sell off his antique toys.
Authoritarians want us to distrust each other. They benefit from us being afraid and suspicious of each other. They want us to believe vulnerability is dangerous, so we close off and hunker down. They want us to snitch on each other, to scapegoat the marginalized as the cause of our problems, to scold dissenters, to build bunkers and hide in them, hands on our guns. All of that fear keeps us away from each other, and that makes us a lot easier to control.
Say no.
All this isn’t to say that you should give and give and give until your cup is empty. But I also think it’s worthwhile to reflect on whether or not our inventory is as finite as we are often led to believe it is. Maybe you have a little extra in your purse today, and maybe your friend has a mending cantrip that can help you fix up a hole in your pants tomorrow. When you allow yourself to see abundance in those around you, and in yourself, it makes sharing with the party (and with the community as a whole) feel like a no-brainer.
This Is A Campaign, Not A One Shot
When I first became more active in my local communities, I often felt overwhelmed by the amount of work that needed to be done and would find myself in a frustrating cycle of overextending, recovering, and overextending again. It led to me struggling with my mental health and burnout, along with my ability to be present when I did show up. Yes, the world is in a state of crisis, and it can feel like we have to be DOING SOMETHING from when we wake up to when we go to sleep.
I hate to say it, but the world will also probably be burning tomorrow.
Therefore, it’s vital to pace yourself, not just in regards to your energy, but to your resources — use them sustainably, and keep a little in your pocket just in case you need to pivot. If you use up all your spell slots right up front at the first henchman battle, you could become a liability to yourself and your party if you don’t get an opportunity to get a long rest in before the big boss fight. This is another area where knowing your party and their capabilities helps a lot — something might take a precious spell slot for you, but be a charge on some magical item someone else has and holds less dear. Help people help you by playing off each other’s strengths and abilities, keeping up momentum while also retaining some resources “just in case”.
This also holds true in regards to pacing yourself more generally “out of game”, as a player! You don’t want to burn yourself out too quickly by setting expectations for yourself and your party that you can’t maintain long-term. So many TTRPG games I’ve been in have fallen apart because they wanted to have weekly 8-hour games, and at some point, that just wasn’t doable — one person couldn’t make it, then we didn’t meet that week, then the next thing we knew we hadn’t played for a couple of months. This is also very true in regards to your activist commitments — there is a lot of value in doing something smaller consistently versus doing something big, exhausting yourself, and then not being able to (or not wanting to) show up again.
I hope this essay gives people a slightly lighthearted way to take inventory of how they can show up to protect their communities and resist the fascist creep. I know it’s bad out there right now. I know it feels like the Big Bad is impossible to defeat.
But we can fight. And we will win.
“In the same way your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don’t, then it doesn’t.”
— Brennan Lee Mulligan, Dimension 20
