I keep seeing other people in derby distancing themselves from reports of bullying that keep cropping up… and I have to ask.
Does that seem like an ethical way to respond to people saying they felt harmed by behavior in the community?
It doesn’t matter if it was yesterday or 3 years ago. If someone says they were harmed by someone’s behavior, maybe the thing to do is to accept that feedback and offer ways to commit to doing better and offering apologies to those who were hurt… not refusing to listen to those who are telling you harm was done.
I understand there’s a desire to be defensive and protective, but that doesn’t fly — not with abusers in BDSM, not with rapists in anarchist organizing, not with bullies in derby, not with manipulators in queer community, or any other area.
Center a consent culture, hear what people tell you even when it hurts, and vow to learn and grow. Don’t shut people down.
Thank you for telling your truth.