I do make a point of saying, multiple times, that everyone should do what they need to do to take care of themselves. I understand how it would feel like apologia, but I don't think apologia tends to demand accountability. Rather, I think this puts the onus on the community as a whole to step in and shoulder some of the work of holding people accountable, rather than our current strategy, which puts that pressure on the victim. It also encourages us to take ownership of the harm we ourselves do, without expecting forgiveness from those we've hurt. How have you overstepped people's boundaries?