Blaming patriarchy is not the same as blaming men, per se. Just putting that out there. But media is primarily controlled by white men with money, so yeah, those men help reinforce the patriarchy that hurts everyone it touches (which is everyone).
It’s a fair point to say that it’s unlikely any man I’ve slept with has never watched porn. I should have more accurately said “refuses to tell me they watch porn”, which means very likely ashamed of it.
And it’s less that I want to “defend porn” so much as I want people to be more critical about media they consume across the board, and I’m tired of people giving porn so much shit but not having that same passion for the rest of media.