“An Army Of Lovers Cannot Fail”- Mutual Protection in a Post-Trump Nightmare
CW: anti-gay, racist violence
Last night, in the gayborhood of the Castro, in a city often heralded as a safe space for the marginalized, a gay Latino man was beaten by neo-Nazis until he needed emergency brain surgery.
I got the warning when I was at an event organizing resources with a collective of trans, nonbinary and queer folks. I walked my friends to the BART so that they could feel safe. We didn’t know, then, that the neo-Nazis had already almost killed someone. We just knew they were out there that night.
I wonder where all the “allies” with safety pins on were as white supremacists attacked him.
I’ve been hearing a lot about how it’s scary to be an explicit ally. Well, a) this is not a time to be timid, my buckaroos and b) welcome to the world of the marginalized who have been getting this their whole lives. This is a time to act. The thing we’re going to have to confront moving forward is that if you are marginalized and/or a woman, you’re not safe. Period. So you can be a loud and out there vocal supporter, or be subtle and wear a safety pin, but you’re not gonna be safe regardless.
For me, I have to admit while I get the gesture, a person who is too vulnerable to be vocal and upfront about their solidarity with me isn’t a person I can count on. I keep seeing white women ask if they can just wear a safety pin so they don’t have to worry about confrontation at work for being political and the “can I be an ally without being in the crossfire” is like… no, not really. I know that sucks, but real solidarity is painful and risky.
I’m not going to see a safety pin during a traumatic confrontation, and I’m sure as hell not gonna see it while being tear gassed by the police for peacefully protesting.
So. Hopefully at this point, if you’re in the United States, you have learned that calling the cops is dangerous, especially if you’re a rape victim, a Black person, a brown person, a sex worker, mentally ill, or really a human being. You’ve learned that allies don’t call cops, that the justice system is imperfect and stacked against the marginalized. But you want to do something, so what can you do?
We need to take care of each other. We need to stop talking about community building and we need to build. Radical self-reliance kills people, after all. We need to give our dollars directly to the homeless rather than to the government for shelters that aren’t even safe for most homeless folks to be in. Let’s be honest, we could never really count on the justice system or the government to protect us, and now that’s painfully clear to everyone except maybe straight white cis men. Who aren’t Jewish.
Community requires three things in my mind: mutual accountability, mutual responsibility, and mutual care.
Here’s some steps you can actively take to assist in mutual aid in the coming months. A lot of them involve money, because we live under capitalism. But not all of them do. Consider this the guide to mutual care.
-If you’re white? Learn how to decenter yourself when discussing these political issues or when at a protest, meeting, or community gathering. I highly recommend “From White Racist to White anti-Racist: The Life Long Journey” as a way to check in with yourself honestly. Learn not to be defensive when critiqued.
-Take some self defense type classes and maybe some community intervention type classes so that if you do see a confrontation against someone marginalized by a neo-Nazi or other variety of bigot, you can step in and try to de-escalate.
-Do you have a home or a community space you can offer up to people organizing? Let your local communities you’re a part of know. So many independent communities I’m in are organizing — chances are someone you know could use the space to make zines, protest signs, or letters to their senators.
-Offer to donate money or legal services to help trans people change their paperwork to fit their gender/name before Jan 21st by filling out this form.
-Send a few bucks to Rafia Satana who is single handedly sending food to Black folks who need it, no strings attached. Feed the movement.
-Send money to TransLifeline, whose phones were ringing off the hook after Trump’s win as many people became suicidal. Some other phone crisis lines to fund: the Trevor Project, Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
-Learn the basics on how to support a suicidal friend. Create mutual care networks. When you need support, ask for that emotional labour — I often ask with a time limit, so the negotiation is easy and clear.
-Send some money to the Bay Area Anti-Repression Committee Bail Fund who provides support for actions that are anti-patriarchal, anti-racist, anti-imperialist & anti-capitalist. Or buy one of my “Allies Don’t Call Cops” shirts (100% will be donated to the fund), and then wear that in your community.
-Ask your friends, especially your marginalized friends, if they’ve had any water today, if they’ve eaten yet, if they’ve taken their meds. If you can, offer to send or make them a meal, or take them out for food. Self care is often one of the first things out the window when a crisis hits, and burning out is inevitable if you don’t take care of yourself.
-Going to protest in the streets? Learn some basic opsec. Here’s a good piece for you to read about attending protests, and here’s a good one about what to pack for a protest bag. Also some excellent advice on tear gas. Be ready for anything when you’re protesting, and keep an eye out for those around you who are more vulnerable — Black and brown folks, visibly queer or trans folks, people with disabilities, people with children, the elderly. Cops have and will spray tear gas at kids. Be ready to protect the ones around you.
-Speaking of taking care of yourself, can I recommend making time for fun in the middle of all this? Host a spa date where you put on aloe masks to help recover from the tear gas of the night before. Have a knitting circle. Watch a movie. Hold each other close, and allow yourself some time to laugh.
-Take a street medic training, or even better, host one so members of your community have some basic skills to help others when at a protest. There’s a list of street medic organizations here.
-When at a protest, bring some extra granola bars and some extra water. Keep an eye out for fellow protesters who seem like they’re faltering. Offer them water or a snack.
-Instead of a safety pin, wear a Black Lives Matter or Believe Women badge when you leave the house. Really anything that suggests where your politics lie. The bolder the font the easier it’ll be to see in a crowded train or with just a quick glance.
-Offer to accompany your more marginalized friends to public transit, to the grocery store, on other errands. I know people who have been spit on, shoved, yelled at, threatened. We need to stick together in groups.
-If you hear some bigoted joke or comment, ask why it’s funny. say you don’t understand. This often embarrassed bigots, who depend on not having their ignorance explicitly laid bare.
-If you see someone attack, be ready to step in and help and/or point to other people in the space and ask them to help. People respond better when you ask them in particular rather than the crowd in general.
-Know your local crisis intervention teams and homeless outreaches. Call them instead of the cops when you encounter issues in the streets. If you see the cops harassing someone, call them if you can to get them involved. Cops are real trigger happy right now, but just being observed can curb some of their shitty behaviour.
-Read this piece by Elle Armageddon, that outlines a bunch of other practical ways you can help. Then give her money on her Patreon — she’s been doing amazing work offering infosec and street medic info to her local community.
-While you’re at it, fund queer, trans, POC, and disabled artists and creators on Patreon or other platforms, who are going to struggle a lot harder with finding jobs and safety under this new regime. Money will help. Give it to them.
We cannot and should not count on those who are supposed to “protect and serve” us as part of the prison industrial complex to not, instead, just throw us into pens for being trouble.
We need to fight back to back and dance cheek to cheek. Both are defiant, and both are necessary.
wanna help support my on the ground actions as well as my writing and community organizing? donate to my patreon, or get me something off my wedding registry as my girlfriend and I are bumping our wedding up a couple years just in case!
